WE AND OUR ATTITUDE

WE AND OUR ATTITUDES

First of all, it is important to know what is an attitude. It is the attribute that an entity possesses – a particular type of thought attached with a value. It may be positive – when it is favourable and negative whenever it is construed as contrary to the values.

Attitude could also be of extreme nature. Extreme positive or extreme negative but it has also been experienced that one may reflect positive attitude at a particular time on an object while being negative on other occasions. It means that we can have multiple attitude at different point of times on different time span. But it is always important that one should always exercise control over his body, mind and soul in order to control the his/her attitude.

Positive attitude.

If somebody’s action gives pain to us, we can revoke this pain by the balm of positive attitude. This positive attitude could be imbibed through meditation because the pain is not due to external influences but because our inner self is not attuned to withstand the onslaught of time. Inner self could be strengthened through sincere prayers to our Lord and the negativity in our attitude could be revoked and made positive.

Negative attitude:

Many a times, we feel a sense of bitterness, if somebody to whom we most trust belies our faith. Make a concerted effort in plugging that injury with the plaster of ‘time’ and see that the bitterness just disappears. This will also help in infusing positivity in attitude in that person.

Person with a particular type of attitude:

We come across people with a particular type of attitude. Anybody coming their way will have it instantly. Unfortunately, if somebody have to deal with such a unique personality, means, that person will have to have caliber to match that person’s capabilities, drive and confidence to come out unscathed. These people have independent thoughts without being influenced by any outer influences. Such persons too will have to face the music/consequences of their untoward attitude, today or any other day. People with aggressive attitude are actually self destructive, uncooperative, passive in their outlook with anger writ large on their faces, they may win here or there sometimes but they lose the battle of life ultimately.

Besides attitude is of following types too:-

• Introvert and extrovert attitude. There are people who do not come out of their shell. They keep their thoughts to themselves. On the other hand there are people, whose thoughts could be read with ease. Implicit and explicit attitudes can also be explained in this manner.

• Rational and irrational attitude. People with rational thinking act according to laws of nature or convention. They are strict in their thinking and behave as such. On the other hand people who just change their outlook suiting their own selfish ends are irrational in their disposition. They cannot be trusted.

• Individual and social attitude. Individual attitude may differ. A social attitude has to be followed taking into consideration social norms of behavior and act which is suiting the community as a whole.

• Sarcastic and cooperative attitude. Many a times we come across people who always exhibit sarcasm at any event in order to show off or demonstrate their knowledge. On the other hand people are there who are always ready to help and render their helping hand even to a stranger.

• Ego-centric, value expressive. We also come across people who demonstrate their importance act in a manner prejudicial to the interests of others and contrary to the normal of behavior. They do not care about the values attached to an act.

• Ego defensive attitude and selfless attitude. People who are always ready for defending their point of views and go to any length in advancing their agenda. On the other hand people who are all adjusting in any environs are accommodative in nature and change their attitude as suiting to the society in which he/she is living.

• Ego-expressive helps central values or belief.
In this context Bhagavad Gita has rightly said; “One should always try to manage oneself’.

Attitude Towards Work

Right attitude is also beneficial in the work at hand. We can make our presence felt in any office we are working if we exhibit visionary attitude towards our work culture. This attitude not only becomes productive for the organization besides being inspirational and motivational to the colleagues. Such people leave a mark on the landscape of history.

Bhagwad Gita tells us to develop the visionary perspective in the work we do. It tells us to develop a sense of larger vision in one’s work for the fructification of our task at hand.
Congenial atmosphere at home

It is a fact that if we want to make our home a heaven in true sense of term then we should always have right attitude, not only based on rationality and also away from ego-centric attitude. It ought to be adjusting and adaptive in nature.

Now there is a crucial question whether attitude could be formed with a freewill or it is just an innate trait (implicit) outside our awareness (explicit) or is it formed spontaneously, on spot, and changeable at that! Formed on purpose or forced by the environs in which a person lives. One reason may be associated with other or it may not be associated with each other.

Gandhiji has rightly said:

“Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.”

Attitude is one of the funniest things because of its changing nature at any place or time. Given the fact that it is in our hand to have positive attitude. Then why not capitalize on it by adopting right attitude for furthering our cause of assimilation in general milieu rather than being subservient to our moods and showcase our negative attitude. When it is within our control, it is our master, but when it becomes passive it can ruin us altogether. Environment, sometimes, plays its part in changing attitude but here too our disposition is responsible greatly in molding the attitude.

While Abraham Lincoln said:
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”

Attitude is one of the most important dispositions/ characteristics that we have at any point of time. What thought comes at a particular point of time and how we make this thought practicable. It can give value to our thought. A thought which can influence our life immensely – or even make or break our life, put a coma where full stop is called for.

Attitude and the present moment.

Being nice, pliable, ease with which to adjust, cooperative and all the positive qualities which a person could possibly have make huge difference in our life. Positive thinkers are the ones who just think if there is exit, there is also an entrance from somewhere. Need is to explore it. Every coin has opposite sides. The person with a thought to excel, excels. It is rightly said what we think, we become. Key for success or failure is within us and in this attitude plays a stellar role. If we think, we can succeed despite hurdles, we can surmount any hurdle with will and determination. Even the elements will be coming to our succor if we are determined. Otherwise, if our attitude is negative, nothing in this world can change us. Everything has to spring from within.

If something negative is happening to us, we should not lose ourselves. It is not the end of the world. Our attitude should be to fight that odd thing out with an idea that something, at least, is happening in our life – that
destiny has not forsaken us altogether. Whatever has to happen is destined to happen, but I have a thing which could help me and that is my attitude to that change. It has rightly been said that 10% of the things are evitable / destined but 90% do happen due to our reaction to that evitable change.

Right Attitude and Spirituality

One gradually attains tranquility of mind by keeping the mind fully absorbed in the Self by
means of a well-trained intellect, and thinking of nothing else.

Our attitude depends on our present thoughts. We can transform our thoughts by a mix of traditional spirituality with subjective experience and psychological growth. It is through meaningful action which we perform flowing from heart resulting in blissful experiences.

Spirituality means emotional response inclusive of feeling important, joy which we experience, to accept a change, a feeling of unity, etc. Such emotional feelings help us in adjusting with the people and environment. Those also create positive emotional responses to any problem that we face and give us leeway to solve with positive attitude taking others’ unity of purpose in mind.
There are so many things for which we have got no control, like others’ attitude towards us, what our present attitude bring for us but at least we have the option of putting lid on our negative thoughts and keep our head clear, what is actually destined for us. The present is the one which can be controlled and lived as we want. The present is the moment to be lived, to be taken seriously and amuse ourselves with an idea of having satisfaction with what we have and not spoil of today due to past or coming days.

Today, now is within our control and reach we can live it nicely. It is also a fact that we ought to try for more but not at the cost of our present moment. Sometimes we show our concern for other people, but care ought to be exercised whether these people are receptive to your sensible suggestions.

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BITTERNESS – THE FROZEN FORM OF INNATE ANGER – A CURSE

BITTERNESS – THE FROZEN FORM OF INNATE ANGER – A CURSE

We know how much bitterness and animosity that was created due to trust deficit and bitterness created by attempt of Dharyodhna and his brothers to disrobe Panchali (Dhropti). This, among other reasons combined and resulted in a ferocious battle between the armies of Pandavas and Kauravas in which so many people from both sides lost their lives and consequently rule of law was finally established.

The immediate cause of World War I was partly due to the utter bitterness created by the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria-Hungary and afterwards formation of an alliances based on imperialism, militarism and nationalism by Europe. This trust deficit and bitterness created a situation for a War between the nations. We know what a colossal deaths and destruction that it caused.

The WW II resulted due to too much of bitterness created amongst the nations due the rise of Italian fascism, Japanese forays into militarism and invasions of China, and especially the takeover of Germany by Adolf Hitler and Nazis. The death toll due to this war too is well known.

Bitterness is the inner turmoil which we experience whenever somebody close to us pricks our inner conscience. It leaves a scar on our conscious self and at times it just refuses to be cured. Closer the relationship, more pronounced it is felt. It solidifies its roots in our inner self and generates negativity in our system. If this negative feeling is not obliterated from our system through self efforts, it creates antipathy – a negative feeling which is self defeating and sinful occasionally.

SINCERITY IN OUR RELATIONSHIP BITTERNESS

It should never be forgotten that our sincerity to maintain relationship should never be one sided. When we want to remain honest in our behavior with our friends and the others just give a lie to our aspirations then we are heartbroken. Bitterness makes a permanent residency in our being if concerted effort is not made to heal it. Sooner it is done, better it is for us. It goes to show that relationships are cemented by a flurry of concerted efforts but one wrong step and we fall into the quagmire of distrust and consequent resentment and further heartburns.

INNER VOICE AND BITTERNESS

Occasionally it so transpires that we fail to listen to our inner voice then things could go out of limit. Problems do come in our life. When our expectations are belied/punctured by wrongful behavior of one to whom we hold dear, we feel bitter. Loss of a job; loss of relationship, loss of position in the society, loss of friendship, loss of face sometimes due to no fault of ours then it causes inner tremors breaking the peace of our mind and when our mind is disturbed it affects our day to day activities. Only the balm of time heals that bitterness.

SUSPICION AND BITTERNESS

When a red line of suspicion is drawn by our most trusted ones, our mental balance is disturbed. Bitterness remains in our system and remains disturbing us. If this bitterness is not shared with some confidant and solution reached at, it remains and may affect us physically. It is better that it is shared and cured at the first sign.

OUR EXPECTATIONS AND BITTERNESS

The barbs of words which we least expect also causes bitterness. Resentment results in creation of negative attitude coming in the life of ours. Sometimes our wrong actions, advertently or inadvertently becomes a cause of our bitterness. Our bitterness leads to actions prejudicial to our future course of action thus defeating the very purpose of our action for a successful fulfillment of our goals.

AFFECTS OF BITTERNESS IN THE LIFE OF INDIVIDUAL

1. Psychological Implications. As bitterness emanates from our inner self, it impacts of emotions thus making our life miserable, the consequences of which are really far reaching for us and the people with whom we deal with.

2. Change in Mindset. As bitterness is more due to negativity in feeling and hence it changes our mindset. We move from light to darkness, from positive to negative.

3. Bitterness & Grudges. Bitterness creates a feeling of unforgiving attitude and ultimately grudge. We want to pay to the party concerned in the same coin. This creation of grudge is unending.

4. Unforgiveness. In bitterness, we become unforgiving and remorseful. This complicates matters in the long run.

5. Bitterness begets more bitterness. If we have bitterness for others, it will not create goodwill for us at all. It will create more bitterness in the hearts of others for us too. This cycle of bitter just is unending.

6. Confusion and bitterness. When a person is infested with bitterness, he / she cannot take correct decisions even for a petty matter. He remains in a state of utter confusion. The decision taken in such sort of sate of mindset are not correct and bereft of any wisdom.

7. spirituality and bitterness. When engulfed with bitter feeling, we can hardly concentrate on God since meditation requires oneness of mind and body but in bitterness both do not work in tandem hence no purpose in spirituality is served while in bitterness.

BITTERNESS – A CURSE

Bitterness is a fire that remains hidden
Acts like a slow poison
Engulfing our entire inner being
Making the very vitals of our system hollow
It is similar to stark reality
Of burning down a house – really
In which one has residency sought
Wisdom is to heal the pestering wound
By applying a remedy of reconciliation
And bring about positive solution
Which may heal the hurt persistent
While in bitterness we recycle the event
That makes us bitter still
When hurt prevails unchecked
We are at the lowest on God’s grace
Owing to trust deficit prevalence
Bitterness saps thy energy
And makes thee a person full of worries
A person with everything but goodness
A life bereft of any blessings
A life accursed and barren.

HARBANS KHAJURIA