It is undisputed fact that life is a complex one. There are so many ups and downs due to stresses and strains due to which, many a times, our patience gets wilted. How best to maintain cool despite provocative posturing by some of our colleagues and friends; taking cudgel whenever they get opportunity.  The result of all these provocations is hatred and grudge causing heartburn thereby affecting our body, mind and soul. With anger simmering in our system, we may not be able to function systematically since our body, mind and spirit will not be able to function in tandem. With frayed tempers and hurt feeling writ large, our senses cannot perform their natural task causing stress and strain besides depression and related psychological.

Prophet Mohammad has very rightly proclaimed : “Whoever curbs his anger, while being able to act, Allah will fill his heart with certainty of faith.”

How best the taste of anger could be tested substantially was realized by me yesterday. While I was busy in my office pre-occupied with my assigned task, I overheard one of my colleague backbiting against me to our seniors. He was telling the seniors that I remain whiling away my precious time, doing almost nothing!  Subsequently, I was called by my seniors for the new task, fresh task to be accomplished, my colleague was still there in the same office but was feeling disturbed that, perhaps, I had overheard his innuendo against me thus proving that if one is lying against somebody else, then, its consequences could seen to be believed then and there.

The time to react was very little, I had the following options:-


Forgetting and forgiving is one of the best traits of a person which could be adopted in one’s life. Although, it is also a truth that mere saying forgetting and forgiving is easier to say but difficult to made applicable in our life.

In my case, as stated above, I introspected earnestly, while doing so, if I did not show concern; I would be branded as somebody who just whiles away his time and energy and does not perform any productive work for the organization – a stigma with which I had to live for the entire life. Forgetting and forgetting brings in its wake positive feelings, along with a lot of self belief thus ridding ourselves of resentment, depression, stress, addiction and a total control over our senses.


In addition to this, by remaining positively oriented we can open the door of our sixth sense – intuition by forgetting others’ innuendoes against us. In this way, our composure and bearings will not be affected adversely. Alternatively, when we have grudge against anybody, meaning we are either living in the past or in fear of future and not live in the present moment. Re-living in the past means all the past experiences both good and bad without any lessons thereof would be inconsequential. Living in dead past will not yield us anything. Then living in the unpredictable  future too is also fraught with uncertainty. 


I was in dilemma, whether to pin-point the fissures in my colleague’s declaration against me and tell point-blank then and there before it is too late that he was wrong in insinuating against me. Although paying back in the same coin was not on the cord initially but then instant churning went on in my mind – whether to react or just be quite. If I did not slightly rebuke that liar spreading ill-will and disinformation then it tantamount to accepting that I do not perform my job, as assigned, and that would have been downright acceptance of his insinuation at its face value.


Anger visits when the bridge of our patience is breached by the unbridled emotional upsurge. When similar situation dawns, then only alternative left with us is preservation of equanimity lest it boomerang on us and ruin us in the process. Those who want to exercise anger as a tool in getting their things done should also keep in mind that while do so, we are spoiling our own health and wellbeing ultimately. Browbeating others and thereby exercising violence including angry outbursts have not ever solved any problem till date. Problems have become more complex in anger and its resultant consequences. If you get angry, we shall make others angry too in the process. Thus proving anger is the ugliest part of the traits of human nature.


When we are angry, our latent energy gets weakened/dissipated or just wasted. We are left on the mercy of conflicts and contradictions of our own making. To keep a grudge against somebody too means keeping negative feeling in our system. Depleted inner energy impacts not only our body and mind but also our soul besides impacting our confidence to performance anything  tangible in our life. Not only this, our social acceptability will also be in peril.  

In Bible I has been said: Act, don’t react, because of our fallen nature, our first impulse is often a sinful one –  and to remind ourselves how the energy anger provides should be used to solve problems and not create bigger ones.

Last but not the least, it is relevant to mention Bhagwad Gita which says that demoniac nature is perpetuation of hellish existence. The three gateways of hellish existence are lust, greed and anger. All these come in the way of spiritual consciousness. 


The castle of my own existence

Built brick by brick over a period of time

Sometimes a brick so solid in the form of tolerance

And another times in the form of enough patience

Cemented diligently with ample dose of compassion

Falls like a pile of ninepins without indication of any caution

When I fall prey to unwelcomed aggravation

Due to sudden burst of unwarranted provocation

Coming from a dear one –  with least expectation

Bringing in its wake uncalled for tension

No escape route could be fathomed on the spur

Defense mechanism wilts under severe pressure

All efforts to control rage razes to ground

Of all things, puzzling indeed

Whence all these weapons just fizzle out

And become futile defenses

Of little consequence

I follow a path most uncharitable – regrettably

A path which has tarnished my image in my own eyes presently

Under the influence of anger, so unpleasant

Which brings to the ground my strong castle of myself

Built brick by brick over a period of time

But crashes down just in a moment

Thus washing off everything created over time

I lament this split second anomaly spiteful

Wish that I could rewind and relive that moment again

And make a conscious effort not to lose myself from now onwards

And rewrite the history of losing myself in the bargain

Wish that I should have erected  firewalls  and safety cushions

More impregnable than done therein fore  

When a most sincere conscious effort could have made difference

By the grace of Providence.








Author: Harbans

GOD is very compassionate with us in every way, need is to use those blessings which are the results of His bounties and thank Him for everything that He gives us. We should also share these bounties with our fellow-beings. I am the person who loves God and His Creations. I love my Creator and not fear Him. My children are adjusted to life, incommensurate, to their Karma and destiny. I have served as a Sr CGO for about 38 years in a Central Govt. Presently I am serving as an Adm Offer with an Engineering College. I am a spiritual person with liberal ways of thinking. I respect all the religions as I respect mine since I understand that all the religions are the pathways to a SINGLE ENTITY - paths for connecting with Him may be different but the ULTIMATE SOURCE IS ONE. I want to be a student till last day of my life. I am a homeopath also, which I pursue as a social service only. Happy moments, I take as God's Gifts, sad ones I take as His Test for me. I believe that He will surely assist me in this Test of His, come what may. Really. I have more belief in Him than I am on my own. You can comprehend my philosophy in life from my write-ups which I write while interacting with them. I firmly believe that every person has the special characteristic which other fellows cannot have and I respect that person as such. With the grace of Almighty God, a book entitled INNER THOUGHTS which could be purchased online from This book is based on the topics which have been penned down. That is why it is rightly said if intentions are good, everything goes well with you.


  1. Sometimes anger, tempered, can produce positive, necessary, action. Anger suppressed can fester and mislead the other into thinking their behaviour acceptable when it isn’t. Controlled anger is more positive than rage. I imagine it would be possible to forgive your colleague, but necessary to remember.

    1. My profuse thanks for your most appropriate suggestion; which I actually did. I forgave the individual concerned but made him realise that he had done a mistake and extracted a promise not to repeat the same in future. Regards

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