ON HAPPY PARENTS

HAPPY PARENTS

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Happy parents themselves are disciplined lots

And present an example for their kids to follow

For the offspring pickup parents’ attitude

Which they see in their daily routines

Home is the place where current of free-flow of information follows

With no inhibition whatsoever

Including seamless discussions

On varieties of subjects without compunction

On family customs and traditions

Including transference of cultural mores

Being followed by the family from ages together

Where mother holds the golden key

To fine-tune the child’s upbringing

Her benchmark for progress for each child is without bias

Happy parents are the ones whose children

After their home stint

Get  on with their schooling most methodically and successfully

After following all the norms as a necessity

Where parents are called to the children’s school only for receiving awards

Won by their wards

For their all-round performance above par.

 

Happy parents are the ones

Whose children come with solutions

To the problems they confront

And not become part of the problem themselves

Thus making the problem more confused and beyond solution.

 

Just think of the plight of the parents

Who is called to their wards’ school

For attending a session with the teacher

For their wards wayward behavior  and dismal academics records

How depressing such parents feel indeed!

Where both parents and their wards get reprimands

From their teachers for their lowly overall performance.

 

Happy parents are also the ones

Whose children make them proud

Due to their professional acumen and competence  

Who would be known for their children’s exemplary achievements

In all fields which count.  

ON HAPPY PARENTS

Importantly, for a parent to be happy, it is essential that their offspring imbibe all the positive traits that are necessary for living a positively oriented and purposeful life. It is not that in this sort of life, there would not be any hindrances/road-blocks, these would be there, but how best these could be surmounted by the participation of children and the parents with mutual cooperation and understanding.

While traveling in a train, I happened to meet a middle-aged person. Seemingly from a middle-class background but with outstanding mannerism which I observed while interacting with him.  I easily struck a conversation with him after customary greetings.  

He told me that he has two sons. Both of them were brought up in middle-class home conditions whose only source of income was the yield from their farmland in a small village. Both of them had their early schooling in a Government run school. Though in financial stringency, both of them finished their schooling; the elder one could barely scrape through his matriculation examination. He was constrained to follow his parent’s profession of farming and was fated to lead a normal life.

On the other hand, the younger one was disciplined, intelligent, hardworking and was liked by his teachers and adjusted with the environment he was placed. By dint of resolute determination and consistent hard work, he scored a position in matriculation and then graduated with flying colours. He also supplemented the family’s income by taking tuition classes in the evening hours. His parents were very proud of their younger son. This fellow also confided that he was never called to the school due to the discipline attributed towards his younger son. On the other hand, they were most respectfully invited to the award-winning ceremony of his son’s academic excellence. Any parents would be proud to have a offspring like him, he said. While telling this, there was a shine writ large on his face. He further said that his son has,  this year, qualified his UPSC for IAS. What a performance, I applauded! Any parents would feel utmost pride in having a child like this one. 

From the time a child is born, the parents try their utmost so that their offspring imbibe all the value systems which may help them in their later part of life. It is in the family itself from where a child gets the first lesson in etiquette, good manners, family traditions, discipline, self-respect and the respect for the elders in the family? A child who, from the childhood itself, remains within limits in every way; may it be financial, norms of behavior, obeys natural laws and laws of land with aplomb succeeds in life.

Having learned our first lesson in various aspects, as listed above, our lessons in informal education to get initiation from our home. Actually, from our loving care of our mother including a loving pad of our father. Subsequently, our formal schooling starts. The parents want that their wards ought to be good in studies, bring in good results besides following all the norms of behavior and positive traits which they have taught their wards. Then after some professional courses, interviews for the career the young aspirants aspire for. The parents too help their wards so that they get the best whatever they aspire for and have strong inclination to achieve.

After having achieved what their children have got according to their potentials as well as their circumstantial influences, the parents want their children the following too:-

  1. Good career with growth potential. The parents want that their offspring get the good career which has good opportunity to grow in the career graph. This is only possible when the persons concerned works hard in formal education then learn and follow every lesson in the book in professional efficacy – both theory and practice.

 

  1. Adjustment in Married life. Then the parents would like that their grown-up children select a good girl of compatible and amicable nature who could adjust with the family and adopts all the norms of behaviour. Here the parents too have responsibility and a role to play. They should treat the girl married to their son just like their own daughter. This way, love in reciprocity will flow in the family just naturally.

 

  1. Successful Married Life. Subsequently, every parent would like their children married life to be smooth sailings. There should not be any hindrance in their lives. If sometimes, there arises any difference in their perception, the parents should give sound advice and settle the issues, so cropped from time to time, without any wastage of time lest it becomes nuisance thereafter.

 

Conclusively, the parents would be ‘extremely happy’ if their children are:-

  1. If their children are brought up in a disciplined manner so that they lead a disciplined life.

 

  1. Follow norms of behavior in schools, colleges, universities or in professional institutions going youngsters. The parents their offspring to get their education by observing all the rules and regulations and get requisite knowledge and other experience gleaned during their studentship. How happy the parents will get when their wards come out successful after their formal schooling and bring laurels for them.

 

  1. More than anything else, it is the discipline which is essential. I have seen how much parents feel perturbed when their children are found to be involved in breaking the discipline, moral and ethical turpitudes due to which they are called to the schools or colleges. The students involved in shoot out incidents is one of the glaring examples. How much low the parents of such children get after coming to know about their offspring’s  involvement in such cases? Only the concerned parents can say about this, nobody else really?

 

  1. Get meaningful employment according to their merit.

 

  1. Get settled in life after getting married with a suitable girl.

 

  1. Parents will be happy if there is a compatibility in the family of their offspring.

 

  1. Parents would be extremely happy if their offspring are compassionate, kind, emphatic towards others besides looking after the elders in the family when there is a need.

 

  1. What a feeling the parents will get if their children grow up following the spiritualistic way of life.

 

The parents whose children are not only the elders in the family but also the older members of the society in large in whatever way they can are the HAPPIEST IN MY VIEW.

Following the behavioural pattern of an offspring will keep haunting us:-

  1. When they are uncaring towards others’ needs.
  2. When they exhibit negative traits towards others.
  3. When they show their arrogant behavior.
  4. When they do not pay respect to their elders or older members of society.
  5. When they have the exaggerated sense of importance.
  6. When they come with problems and not with the solution to the problems confronted.
  7. When they are not satisfied with what they have but continue to pester their parents for more without trying their bit for realizing what they want.
  8. When they pass on the buck and do not take responsibility for anything.
  9. When they are under the influence of bad characters.
  10. When the offspring behave selfishly.

 

 

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19 thoughts on “ON HAPPY PARENTS

  1. Those parents whose wards give them satiety at home, get adjusted in their workplace besides earn a name and fame for themselves are the HAPPIEST PARENTS. REGARDS

  2. I find your example of the two sons intriguing. Your ‘meaningful employment according to their merit’ is an important qualification. Who is to say which of the two boys brings most happiness? As parents we must nurture the natural talents that each indiviidual possesses. My 5 are all different – with different abilities and aptitudes.

    1. First of all Derrick sir, welcome again to my blog after your hospital stint. MY heartfelt GRATITUDE for your kind commentary.

      Yes sir, every one of the offspring count and all adjust according to their thoughts and actions thereof besides their destiny but one thing that is important is this that they should be obedient, disciplined and law abiding.

      WARM REGARDX
      HARBANS

  3. Dear Harbans,

    Our society starts with the family. If the family is intact children may benefit from it. So parents play a really important role in educating their children, to bring them up as adults to be able to swim in the ocean of life. And so they prepare them for the moment when they become independent.

    In Kirpal Sagar there is a unique project: Parents bring their children to Kirpal Sagar as they are taught the with the higher values of life: to respect everyone, to be friendly to everyone. They learn the meaning of spirituality and practice it from a small child up to students. Once they get older and will have families they will likewise teach and educate their children with these noble human values. The more people like this learn to live in ONENESS that we all are a big family in Him help and service to man will increase and the polluted and spoilt spirit we find in media and wrong education will slowly diminish and pave the way for a better world.

    The more we become consious the better our children can profit from it and become in turn noble
    citizens of their countries. Love, consciousness, kindness, a real human constructive relationship among people will have its timely entry. The seeds have already been sown…

    Thank you very much, dear Harbans for your big effort to write about this important subject in details and pofoundly.

    Have a great time
    Heartfelt greetings
    Didi

    1. God Morning Didi Sir,

      My sincere thanks for your kind visit to my blog and writing the commentary about the important topic of parenting and its overall effects on the growth and development of the children not only till they grow up but also till they adjust in life after marrying, having employment etc.

      Your insightful comments are really inspiring. The KIRPAL SAGAR is proving to be one of the centre of gravity for shaping the destinies of these children. I am obviously very impressed by the information that this premier institution is doing a stellar service the humanity.

      Your commentary on a variety of subjects is reallay motivating.

      With kind regards,

      HARBANS.

      1. Welcome, dear Harbans 🙂

        In the coming time Kirpal Sagar will be a place of pilgrimage, where millions of pilgrims are able to pray and sit in contemplation in honour to the One God for all – as all religions are under one roof there. The first beams of this sunrise can already been seen and perceived at the horizon.

        Best wishes, dear friend
        Didi

      2. Didi Sir, wish that I too be part of this spiritual congregation!

        It gives me an immense pleasure in communicating with you and getting most of my doubts and misgivings removed.

        WITH KIND REGARDS
        HARBANS

      3. Dear Harbans,

        Very nice to hear that you would like to be part of this spiritual movement, Unity of Man. I recommend to write to the them an email that you are interested in the teaching of Sant Kirpal Singh:
        E-Mail: mail@unity-of-man.org
        They will send you even small books, talks by Sant Kirpal Singh and there is no obligation at all. All is a voluntary matter and free of charge as Sant Kirpal Singh has said: “True spirituality should always be free for everyone.” When writing to them you can mention my name too. My real name is Dietmar. I am living in Finland. They know me too. So there is no obligation, all is based on the free will and voluntariness. From there you can get more and more information about the Mission of Sant Kirpal Singh, about Kirpal Sagar and its founders Dr. Harbhajan Singh and his wife Biji Surinder Kaur. Maybe some day we even can meet in Kirpal Sagar which is about 360 km northwards from Delhi. This year I am going to Kirpal Sagar in November. There, I offer my help to build up Kirpal Sagar, to keep it in a good condition and be of help for the poor and needy people. Living and staying there is free. There is a guesthouse build according to the Western standard. So I will be there for 2 weeks.

        I wish you good yearning, dear friend 🙂
        All the best and greetings from my heart
        Didi

      4. My grateful thanks for sparing your most valuable time and providing me information about participation in the spiritual movement at KARPAL SAGAR. My thanks to you for giving your real name.

        With warm regards,
        HARBANS

        Lets

  4. Thanks for listing the most important things for you to feel successful as a parent. It is easy to get lost in the minutia of day to day life and lose sight of the bigger picture.

    1. Thanks for visiting my blog and appraising the same. Factually, our children should be our first priority otherwise we would be losing control over them and would not be able to fulfill their aspirations by proving them needful direction.

      REGARDS
      HARBANS

  5. Good morning, my dear spiritual friend across the oceans. This is an excellent article about he benefits and challenges of family life, which we all can feel attached to.Our family is the place where we can always feel the more secure, even when we are wrong and/or confused. We can relax and share our innermost feelings and troubles without the fear of retaliation or harm. I do get that in your writings the emphasis on “discipline”, which can sound a little too extreme to our modern western ears, is really a call for harmony in our relationships. I am sure you had polite disagreements with your sons, your daughter-in-law ( if you already have one) and even your lovely wife ( knowing you, I am starting to know her too as you have been blessed by the transmutation of character traits given by many years of cohabitation and shared experiences) Yes, in an imperfect, chaotic world we need more than ever the safe harbor given by our families. By the way, what’s the UPSE for IAS? That is a blessed gentleman-farmer. A big hug. Arrivederci!

    1. Good morning Dr. Sahib.

      Thank you so very much for appraising the article and offering your invaluable commentary. Although, the discipline may be sound a little extreme, yet, in modern times when there is a free flow of information on various medias, some modicum of discipline has to be infused in the children as to what they should appraise and what they should not lest these impressionable minds are entrapped by the net related games such as bluewhale or any other which may lured them to their self-destruction. That is why I had stressed the word ‘discipline’.

      My son along with his wife with my three year old grand-son came to Delhi last week from England where my son was serving in a company. I was impressed by the value system given to my grand-son by my son and daughter-in-law. My grand-son works as a binding factor. Whenever there is argument between the couple, he just cries till such time their arguments is over. This three years old has disciplined my son and daughter-in-law, so to say. Sound a little peculiar but it is true. UPSC is Union Public Service Commission Examination and IAS is Indian Administrative Service which is a much coveted examination after graduation. After due training in an Administrative College, the successful ones are appointed as Dy Commissions or in higher administrative posts in different ministries.

      WITH WARM REGARDS,
      HARBANS

      1. Good morning and thanks for the clarification, my dear friend. Yes, I do understand why you had used the word “discipline”, which can also be construed as “self-control’, no? I laughed with the story about your grandson…Well, he carries your genetic material and when you are not around, it’s good that he “straightens” your son and daughter-in-law as well. A big hug. Arrivederci.

      2. Good morning Dr. Sahib.

        Yes, it could be termed as ‘self-control’ which is very essential for us all in our everyday lives.

        I also laughed when I observed my grand-son’s behaviour when there were arguments between my son and my daughter-in-law. They confided in me that there is no arguments between them now.

        Thanks and regards
        HAARBANS

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