ON PLEASING OTHERS

ON PLEASING OTHERS

the hapiness

We tend to please others

By compromising our own inner self

Which tells us not to submit

To the temptations of pleasing others

On the off-putting influences, so exterior

We sell thereby, very cheaply

Our own inner sense of right and wrong

By doing what our inner-self tells us to desist

We bargain the permanent entity

For one which is impermanent in nature

Thus trading off our own self-esteem by pleasing others

Whence it is not required; ethically speaking.

Thence we pretend to please our own Creator

Knowing full well that He is Omniscient

What we do or do not do is known to Him

Then pleasing Him

Whilst knowing well our own misdemeanors

That too, without any repentance whatsoever

Serves no purpose at all

Our God could be pleased with simple things

Like flowers and sincere prayers.

If we tend to please others unreasonably, we can be in real trouble sometimes. The epic Mahabharata is an apt example of how an illogical pleasing could wreak havoc. The attitude of Kaurav King Dhritarashtra, who, in order to please his son named Duryodhana, took the assistance of crafty Shakuni who connived to ditch Pandavas who agreed for a gambling match – a game of dice. The Pandavas lost their everything including their dearest consort Dropati. This treacherous gambling match became a potent reason for a war between the two armies due to which there were deaths and destruction in the battlefield wherein the Kauravas lost their everything. This goes to show how unreasonable and irrational pleasing could become a cause of annihilation.

Essentially, to please others means to be agreeable to others’ point of view, please others to gratify or humor others or indulgence to gratify somebody’s ego. This ego aggrandizement may be true or maybe for pleasing others for our personal gain or getting things done with ulterior intent or there may be a hidden agenda beyond pleasing others.

While we want to please others, it means there is some selfish motive for doing so that the person concerned may remain in our favour when crunch time comes. I opine, when we unfairly want to please others, it means, we are ourselves lacking in some areas which we want to cover by lubricating others’ ego for personal favours.

KEEPING THE BOSS IN GOOD HUMOR

We must have observed some employees, though being not up to the mark as far as their efficacy is concerned, yet know how best to keep the head of the organization in good humor with tall talk and using words of platitude or cliché filled words. Their intention is to get benefits for getting upgrades in their jobs.

PLEASING GOD EVEN WHEN RESORTING TO UNETHICAL  ACTIONS

There are then people who thought to be in its way of life resorts to pleasing God by adopting ritualistic ways knowing fully well that our God besides being Omnipotent is also Omniscient besides being present everywhere and in every atom. Nobody can hoodwink Him with rituals or prayer to hide the real intention.

We must have observed some people adopting corrupt practices to earn power and pelf and worldly possessions. This unprincipled and wicked person seemingly wants to camouflage his real objective from an all-knowing God, therefore, any attempt to please Him will prove counterproductive.

RECOGNISE THE FACT THAT WE CANNOT PLEASE ALL THE PEOPLE AT ALL TIMES

Importantly, we tend to please others so as to cultivate a positive ambiance in the environment we are working. Before doing so, we should introspect whether the person we are pleasing is worth pleasing at all.  This sort of pleasing spree may boomerang on us one day if careful thinking about this business of pleasing is not done. We should have justifiable reasons in pleasing others. Crossing limit of decency should always be kept in mind while pleasing others.

RECOGNISE THE FACT THAT PLEASING SHOULD NOT CROSS THE LIMIT

While working in the organizations or living in the society with different opinions, we are constrained to live amicably. Here we have the choice, either to please or displease others, the choice is ours based on pure merit. We are not bound by any conventions that we have to please others whether he/she is the candidate for our flattery or not. Our behavior with others should be on the basis of giving and take, with the slight adjustment here and there.

WHEN OUR SELF RESPECT IS AT STAKE

There are times when we bend backward in pleasing others, seemingly, it indicates that fault lies with us because we ourselves have not learned to assert ourselves and not learned to say emphatic no when it is hugely required.

OUR BOUNDARIES OR LIMITATIONS SHOULD BE RECOGNISED

When something goes beyond limits, it means fault-line lies at our footsteps. It should be recognized that our boundaries are our values which bestow us self-respect.

RECOGNISING OUR PRIORITIES

While dealing with others, we have to give priority to self-esteem, self-improvement in the areas which we lack besides being updated on new things to be learned besides cultivating healthy habits so that there a magnetic pull in us and people may like us despite our drawbacks which we have being humans. 

WE COMPROMISE TO GET OUR INTENTION FULFILLED

We stop being real without knowing our own self and want to act like somebody else so as to hide our real intention. This way, we compromise our own real self and commit sin of being somebody else. It is difficult to be judgmental on others on its face value. Sometimes we all tend to put on masks in order to hide our real intent and many times we are duped by the peripheral viewpoint. This goes to show that in order to please others and sometimes to exaggerate our own sense of self.

  • Observe the behavior of the other and how they react.
  • It should be remembered that excess of everything is bad, even pleasing.
  • We should try to study the psychology of others and act accordingly.
  • We should be self-aware wherein we should know our potentials and weak areas then work on the weak areas so that we need not to please others unnecessarily.
  • If we at all please somebody, we need to please GOD through our good thoughts and Karmic deeds. He will certainly be pleased with us. Pleasing humans simply when it is not required lower us in our own self-esteem.
  • Recognize the fact that we cannot please all the people at all the times; try doing so, and we shall get the proof of this.
  • Recognise that our dealing with others should be based on the basis of the sincerity of purpose.           

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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17 thoughts on “ON PLEASING OTHERS

  1. Pleasing others is not at all bad but when it is without any basis and is resorted to merely to aggrandize somebody’s ego then it is bad.

    Also, it is good to please GOD but when it comes to pleasing Him with all the fault-lines which we have thought that He will pardon us without any sincere repentance from Him is of no consequence since our Creator knows all our misdemeanors.

    Kindly appraise the blog and offer your kind comments. I learn much from your comments.

    WITH WARM REGARDS,

    HARBANS

    1. First of all thank you so very much for appraising the blog and offering your kind comments.

      I agree with you that when we want to please others when that person is not competent for the same. Then only the problem arises.

      Regards

  2. This is needed In the world… Few years ago I started to known myself.. The more conscious I became of my habits.. I came to know.. I pleased others even when they belittled me…
    This is really a work to be done…
    Thanks for sharing

    1. Gani sahib, thanks for your invaluable comments. Pleasing is necessary, and a value oriented habit but when it turns excessive than what is actually required, then it boomerang. It affects our self-esteem.

      Regards
      HARBANS

  3. More sound philosophy reminding me of the words Shakespeare put in the mouth of Polonius: “This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

    1. Derrick sir thanks a lot for your invaluable comments and also sharing words of immortal Shakespeare put in the mouth of Polonius.

      THANKS AND REGARDS

  4. Thanks for these wise words. I especially like your action steps at the end. It is so easy to think that as a spiritual person i must keep harmony and please all around me — but in fact that is being untrue to ourselves – this is the message i got from your post. Really beautiful and true. Thank You.

    1. My sincere thanks for visiting the blog and offering your invaluable comments.

      Truly speaking, pleasing others when the fellow is not competent to be pleased, amounts to flattery which in spiritual term is not right. Although we may not tell that person so, but at least, our silence can satisfy us.

      THANKS AND REGARDS

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