ON PLEASING OTHERS
We tend to please others
By compromising our own inner self
Which tells us not to submit
To the temptations of pleasing others
On the off-putting influences, so exterior
We sell thereby, very cheaply
Our own inner sense of right and wrong
By doing what our inner-self tells us to desist
We bargain the permanent entity
For one which is impermanent in nature
Thus trading off our own self-esteem by pleasing others
Whence it is not required; ethically speaking.
Thence we pretend to please our own Creator
Knowing full well that He is Omniscient
What we do or do not do is known to Him
Then pleasing Him
Whilst knowing well our own misdemeanors
That too, without any repentance whatsoever
Serves no purpose at all
Our God could be pleased with simple things
Like flowers and sincere prayers.
If we tend to please others unreasonably, we can be in real trouble sometimes. The epic Mahabharata is an apt example of how an illogical pleasing could wreak havoc. The attitude of Kaurav King Dhritarashtra, who, in order to please his son named Duryodhana, took the assistance of crafty Shakuni who connived to ditch Pandavas who agreed for a gambling match – a game of dice. The Pandavas lost their everything including their dearest consort Dropati. This treacherous gambling match became a potent reason for a war between the two armies due to which there were deaths and destruction in the battlefield wherein the Kauravas lost their everything. This goes to show how unreasonable and irrational pleasing could become a cause of annihilation.
Essentially, to please others means to be agreeable to others’ point of view, please others to gratify or humor others or indulgence to gratify somebody’s ego. This ego aggrandizement may be true or maybe for pleasing others for our personal gain or getting things done with ulterior intent or there may be a hidden agenda beyond pleasing others.
While we want to please others, it means there is some selfish motive for doing so that the person concerned may remain in our favour when crunch time comes. I opine, when we unfairly want to please others, it means, we are ourselves lacking in some areas which we want to cover by lubricating others’ ego for personal favours.
KEEPING THE BOSS IN GOOD HUMOR
We must have observed some employees, though being not up to the mark as far as their efficacy is concerned, yet know how best to keep the head of the organization in good humor with tall talk and using words of platitude or cliché filled words. Their intention is to get benefits for getting upgrades in their jobs.
PLEASING GOD EVEN WHEN RESORTING TO UNETHICAL ACTIONS
There are then people who thought to be in its way of life resorts to pleasing God by adopting ritualistic ways knowing fully well that our God besides being Omnipotent is also Omniscient besides being present everywhere and in every atom. Nobody can hoodwink Him with rituals or prayer to hide the real intention.
We must have observed some people adopting corrupt practices to earn power and pelf and worldly possessions. This unprincipled and wicked person seemingly wants to camouflage his real objective from an all-knowing God, therefore, any attempt to please Him will prove counterproductive.
RECOGNISE THE FACT THAT WE CANNOT PLEASE ALL THE PEOPLE AT ALL TIMES
Importantly, we tend to please others so as to cultivate a positive ambiance in the environment we are working. Before doing so, we should introspect whether the person we are pleasing is worth pleasing at all. This sort of pleasing spree may boomerang on us one day if careful thinking about this business of pleasing is not done. We should have justifiable reasons in pleasing others. Crossing limit of decency should always be kept in mind while pleasing others.
RECOGNISE THE FACT THAT PLEASING SHOULD NOT CROSS THE LIMIT
While working in the organizations or living in the society with different opinions, we are constrained to live amicably. Here we have the choice, either to please or displease others, the choice is ours based on pure merit. We are not bound by any conventions that we have to please others whether he/she is the candidate for our flattery or not. Our behavior with others should be on the basis of giving and take, with the slight adjustment here and there.
WHEN OUR SELF RESPECT IS AT STAKE
There are times when we bend backward in pleasing others, seemingly, it indicates that fault lies with us because we ourselves have not learned to assert ourselves and not learned to say emphatic no when it is hugely required.
OUR BOUNDARIES OR LIMITATIONS SHOULD BE RECOGNISED
When something goes beyond limits, it means fault-line lies at our footsteps. It should be recognized that our boundaries are our values which bestow us self-respect.
RECOGNISING OUR PRIORITIES
While dealing with others, we have to give priority to self-esteem, self-improvement in the areas which we lack besides being updated on new things to be learned besides cultivating healthy habits so that there a magnetic pull in us and people may like us despite our drawbacks which we have being humans.
WE COMPROMISE TO GET OUR INTENTION FULFILLED
We stop being real without knowing our own self and want to act like somebody else so as to hide our real intention. This way, we compromise our own real self and commit sin of being somebody else. It is difficult to be judgmental on others on its face value. Sometimes we all tend to put on masks in order to hide our real intent and many times we are duped by the peripheral viewpoint. This goes to show that in order to please others and sometimes to exaggerate our own sense of self.
- Observe the behavior of the other and how they react.
- It should be remembered that excess of everything is bad, even pleasing.
- We should try to study the psychology of others and act accordingly.
- We should be self-aware wherein we should know our potentials and weak areas then work on the weak areas so that we need not to please others unnecessarily.
- If we at all please somebody, we need to please GOD through our good thoughts and Karmic deeds. He will certainly be pleased with us. Pleasing humans simply when it is not required lower us in our own self-esteem.
- Recognize the fact that we cannot please all the people at all the times; try doing so, and we shall get the proof of this.
- Recognise that our dealing with others should be based on the basis of the sincerity of purpose.