In essence, Mother Nature provides natural setting for the living beings to produce of their own kinds. But in case of humans, this production is done within the norms of the institution of marriage. This is done to let the civilization ticking. In this institutionalized marriage, the offspring born out of this nuptial, the following benefits are there:-
- There is a stamp of the society in which the couples are living.
- Both the couples aspire to fulfill their respective responsibilities for the overall benefit of their family.
- The progenies are learn value systems from their parents.
- The culture and tradition of the family could be transferred to their children when it is hugely needed.
- The parents ensure the financial security of their offspring from child-birth onward.
- The children are bestowed with congenial environment for their upbringing under the care and protection of their parents.
- Here both the parents give their quality time to their children for refinement of their habits, attitudes and other mores of behavior.
- In married life, when the parents grow old, they are looked after by their children Just as they have been cared when they were children.
- In the institutionalized marriage, both the parents can make their lives compatible, make adequate adjustment whenever and wherever required.
- Differences in the institutionalized marriages can arise but these could be ironed out with mutual consultation or if need be, with the intervention of the elders in the family.
- In the institutionalized marriage, there is tacit understanding between the parents and both the parents and grandparents (if they are alive), therefore, if some differences arise the same could be solved with mutual consultations to save the situation from going to the court for separation. Even in the court, the stress is to give chance to the couple for sorting out differences.
- When the lives of the offspring also is involved then the cumbersome procedure of custody will have to be followed. Wisdom is to make peace and not let these hapless children to become victims of quibbling between the parents.
Live-in relationship is recent phenomenon. The proponents of this type of relationship say that this is necessitated for understanding each other; their temperaments, behavior pattern, attitude etc. These people could be termed as rebellious one – the conventional sort of relationship which has got society’s stamp on it therefore has legal bindings too.
Living-in relationship is already till it works. It can break sooner differences could arise because there is almost no legal obligation attached with such relationship. Be that as it may, this relationship stays till the partners want and breaks up when they want it to break. Then what about the children out of this live-in relationship? These hapless ones are left to fend for themselves for their growth and development.
There are so many loop-holes some of which are given below:-
- In live-in relationships, as there is no legal obligation, the two part their ways when there is some difference of opinion.
- Once this relationship breaks up, both the partners are adversely affected more so the females,
- Purpose of live-in relationship is to fully understand each other (male and female) – attitudes, habits etc. but more often than not, if experience is a guide, the rate of failure of relationship is more pronounced than success rate.
- In live-in relationship as both the partners are rebellious of the institutionalized marriage, both prefer freedom of thought and action and too much of freedom becomes a cause of disruption in their relationship.
- Then both live together both have their soft emotional upsurges – having sex and sometimes safe and other times unsafe; the natural corollary of this is having children from this live-in relationship.
INSTITUTIONALISED & LIVE-IN RELATIONSHIPS
All living things produce like their own kind
Which grows from one stage to other
And then just give up the ghost
The young ones take their place
This just continues.
In humans it is through customary institution called marriage
Between the opposite sex
It is a game not so complex
To keep ticking the cock of culture & tradition
Without any disruption
One thing we should not forget at all
Men & women are a little unlike on physical plane
But in all other aspects both are in sync with each other
Women are empowered with oceanic emotions
More than men-folks, if we hazard a comparison
The marriage as a recognised institution
Was created for reproduction
So that our offspring are looked after well
In more congenial atmosphere
With responsibility of both the spouses
For upbringing of the progenies
Showering love and affection
Including everything provided
For upbringing of offspring
In the family fabric
With value system and cultural mores
Transferred so willingly
In our family
Our sadness together
Our pain is reduced through sharing
By our family members so caring.
Then now a days
Some people are substituting live-in relationships
With institutionalized marriages
In the process just knocking down
The institution of marriage
May be there are some drawbacks in it
Among us the rebelling ones
Think matrimony as bondage
For appeasing the ego
With extra liabilities to boot
Are demolishing the very idea; so pious
‘Marriages are settled in heaven
And solemnized on earth’
They consider living together
Can provide them liberty
To get what they actually want
For satisfaction of their lust
For free, they say
For them that is what the marriage stands-for
The initiators of live-in relationship
May think that only in married lives
Fights take place, as a routine
They are miserably living in fool’s paradise
Humans have the tendency to fight
With each other on silly pretext
Live-in or recognized relation hardly makes much difference
Live-in relation is the result
Of immaturity and lack of understanding
Of human relationship
Institution of marriage so sacred
Is created for binding us together
For sharing and caring for each other
Alternative or substitute for this holy marriage
Undertaken with chanting of hymns from Vedas
Or at the Altar or any other method
Which has community’s indelible stamp
Is more productive and more enduring
Creating love and affection for the couple
And the progenies from that relationship
There is a deep sense of commitment.
In the live-in relationship
This commitment is missing
In turn creation of more miseries
For the living partners
Are created in the process
What about the children produced
Who are born out of this cohabitation??
These hapless are left to fend for their own selves
At the mercies of their own destinies.
It should never be forgotten
That human relations are formed
With deep sense of emotions
If deep emotions are missing
Only lust without trust remains
Producing psychosis symptoms in the long run
Both for women and men.
By living in relationship
We are destroying established relationship
Without creating suitable substitute
In the process killing both the tradition
And cultural ethos in the process.
In institutionalized marriages
Stability of mind and uncertainty are negated
One is living on imagination in live-in relationship
Enjoying their lusty today
No worries of tomorrow
Of the consequence of their lust-based love
Who would look after the resultant children out of this live-in
With no sharing of burden that accrues
Out of this unethical relation.