INSTITUTIONALIZED & LIVE-IN RELATIONSHIPS

INSTITUTIONALIZED MARRIAGE

In essence, Mother Nature provides natural setting for the living beings to produce of their own kinds. But in case of humans, this production is done within the norms of the institution of marriage. This is done to let the civilization ticking.  In this institutionalized marriage, the offspring born out of this nuptial, the following benefits are there:-

  • There is a stamp of the society in which the couples are living.
  • Both the couples aspire to fulfill their respective responsibilities for the overall benefit of their family.
  • The progenies are learn value systems from their parents.
  • The culture and tradition of the family could be transferred to their children when it is hugely needed.
  • The parents ensure the financial security of their offspring from child-birth onward.
  • The children are bestowed with congenial environment for their upbringing under the care and protection of their parents.
  • Here both the parents give their quality time to their children for refinement of their habits, attitudes and other mores of behavior.
  • In married life, when the parents grow old, they are looked after by their children Just as they have been cared when they were children.
  • In the institutionalized marriage, both the parents can make their lives compatible, make adequate adjustment whenever and wherever required.
  • Differences in the institutionalized marriages can arise but these could be ironed out with mutual consultation or if need be, with the intervention of the elders in the family.   
MARRIAGE AS AN INSTITUTION IS SACRED ONE – LOVING FOR IT IS A BINDING FORCE
  • In the institutionalized marriage, there is tacit understanding between the parents and both the parents and grandparents (if they are alive), therefore, if some differences arise the same could be solved with mutual consultations to save the situation from going to  the court for separation. Even in the court, the stress is to give chance to the couple for sorting out differences.
  • When the lives of the offspring also is involved then the cumbersome procedure of custody will have to be followed. Wisdom is to make peace and not let these hapless children to become victims of quibbling between the parents.

LIVE-IN RELATIONSHIP

Live-in relationship is recent phenomenon. The proponents of this type of relationship say that this is necessitated for understanding each other; their temperaments, behavior pattern, attitude etc. These people could be termed as rebellious one – the conventional sort of relationship which has got society’s stamp on it therefore has legal bindings too.

Living-in relationship is already till it works. It can break sooner differences could arise because there is almost no legal obligation attached with such relationship. Be that as it may, this relationship stays till the partners want and breaks up when they want it to break. Then what about the children out of this live-in relationship? These hapless ones are left to fend for themselves for their growth and development.

There are so many loop-holes some of which are given below:-

  • In live-in relationships, as there is no legal obligation, the two part their ways when there is some difference of opinion.
  • Once this relationship breaks up, both the partners are adversely affected more so the females,
  • Purpose of live-in relationship is to fully understand each other (male and female) – attitudes, habits etc. but more often than not, if experience is a guide, the rate of failure of relationship is more pronounced than success rate.
  • In live-in relationship as both the partners are rebellious of the institutionalized marriage, both prefer freedom of thought and action and too much of freedom becomes a cause of disruption in their relationship.
  • Then both live together both have their soft emotional upsurges – having sex and sometimes safe and other times unsafe; the natural corollary of this is having children from this live-in relationship.   

INSTITUTIONALISED & LIVE-IN RELATIONSHIPS

All living things produce like their own kind

Which grows from one stage to other

And then just give up the ghost

The young ones take their place

This just continues.

In humans it is through customary institution called marriage

Between the opposite sex

It is a  game not so complex

To keep ticking the cock of culture & tradition

Without any disruption

One thing we should not forget at all

Men & women are a little unlike on physical plane

But in all other aspects both are in sync with each other

Women are empowered with oceanic emotions

More than men-folks, if we hazard a comparison

The marriage as a recognised institution

Was created for reproduction

So that our offspring are looked after well

In more congenial atmosphere

With responsibility of both the spouses

For upbringing of the progenies

Showering love and affection

Including everything provided

For upbringing of offspring

In the family fabric

With value system and cultural mores

Transferred so willingly

In our family

We enjoy

The happiness

Or share

Our sadness together

Our pain is reduced through sharing

By our family members so caring.

Then now a days

Some people are substituting live-in relationships

With institutionalized marriages

In the process just knocking down

The institution of marriage

May be there are some drawbacks in it

 Among us the rebelling ones

Think matrimony as bondage

For appeasing the ego

With extra liabilities to boot

Are demolishing the very idea; so pious

‘Marriages are settled in heaven

And solemnized on earth’

They consider living together

Can provide them liberty

To get what they actually want

For satisfaction of their lust

For free, they say

For them that is what the marriage stands-for

The initiators of live-in relationship

May think that only in married lives

Fights take place, as a routine

They are miserably living in fool’s paradise

Humans have the tendency to fight

With each other on silly pretext

Live-in or recognized relation hardly makes much difference

Live-in relation is the result

Of immaturity and lack of understanding

Of human relationship

Institution of marriage so sacred

Is created for binding us together

For sharing and caring for each other

Alternative or substitute for this holy marriage

Undertaken with chanting of hymns from Vedas

Or at the Altar or any other method

Which has community’s indelible stamp

Is more productive and more enduring

Creating love and affection for the couple

And the progenies from that relationship

There is a deep sense of commitment.

In the live-in relationship

This commitment is missing

In turn creation of more miseries

For the living partners

Are created in the process

What about the children produced

Who are born out of this cohabitation??

These hapless are left to fend for their own selves

At the mercies of their own destinies.

It should never be forgotten

That human relations are formed

With deep sense of emotions

If deep emotions are missing

Only lust without trust remains

Producing psychosis symptoms in the long run

Both for women and men.

By living in relationship

We are destroying established relationship

Without creating suitable substitute

In the process killing both the tradition

And cultural ethos in the process.

In institutionalized marriages

Stability of mind and uncertainty are negated

One is living on imagination in live-in relationship

Enjoying their lusty today

No worries of tomorrow

Of the consequence of their lust-based love

Who would look after the resultant children out of this live-in

With no sharing of burden that accrues

Out of this unethical relation.

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Author: Harbans

GOD is very compassionate with us in every way, need is to use those blessings which are the results of His bounties and thank Him for everything that He gives us. We should also share these bounties with our fellow-beings. I am the person who loves God and His Creations. I love my Creator and not fear Him. My children are adjusted to life, incommensurate, to their Karma and destiny. I have served as a Sr CGO for about 38 years in a Central Govt. Presently I am serving as an Adm Offer with an Engineering College. I am a spiritual person with liberal ways of thinking. I respect all the religions as I respect mine since I understand that all the religions are the pathways to a SINGLE ENTITY - paths for connecting with Him may be different but the ULTIMATE SOURCE IS ONE. I want to be a student till last day of my life. I am a homeopath also, which I pursue as a social service only. Happy moments, I take as God's Gifts, sad ones I take as His Test for me. I believe that He will surely assist me in this Test of His, come what may. Really. I have more belief in Him than I am on my own. You can comprehend my philosophy in life from my write-ups which I write while interacting with them. I firmly believe that every person has the special characteristic which other fellows cannot have and I respect that person as such. With the grace of Almighty God, a book entitled INNER THOUGHTS which could be purchased online from http://flipkart.com. This book is based on the topics which have been penned down. That is why it is rightly said if intentions are good, everything goes well with you.

9 thoughts on “INSTITUTIONALIZED & LIVE-IN RELATIONSHIPS”

  1. Marriage as an institutionalized togetherness is considered as a sacred union of two opposing souls. In this there should be compatibility and adaptability for making it successful. It is a legal one; the spouses of which are under some obligation.

    LIVING-IN RELATIONSHIP is a recent phenomenon and are being pursued for understanding the partners well.

    Do go through the blog and give your comments. I love your comments.

    WITH REGARDS

    HARBANS

    1. Derrick sir, actually our societies (ours including), think they’ve become more liberal in their viewpoints due to the excessive influences of various medias; be it print media, net or other communication means but in actual practice humans remain same with inherent fault-lines in thinking and action thereto. All these have negative impact on the psyche of the couples . Intolerance and impatience coupled with other negative orientations and even obsessive behaviour patter do impact the society impinging on the compatibility and amenability which are hugely required. Further not forgetting and forgiving any incident too are also responsible for more divorces in the organised marriages. A life based on give and take will help tide over the situation.

      WITH REGARDS
      HARBANS

  2. Good evening, my dear spiritual friend across the oceans. There was a problem with the transcript of the Preface of my second book and I had to delete that page. Please put your commentary again in the new page. Thank you. I will read an comment this blog on Saturday. A big hug.

    1. Dr. Sahib GOOD MORNING.

      Thank you so very much for your comments. I shall do so as soon as possible.

      WITH WARM HUGS AND REGARDS

      HARBANS

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