A TRIBUTE TO A FATHER

A TRIBUTE TO A FATHER

A male parent of  the children

With profusion in parental love and affection

A male biological contributor of the infant’s creation

Possessing with it, all legal and social relationships

Besides, male parent carries certain rights and with it obligations

Even the step-father or adoptive father too has certain compulsions

To bestow upon the child the right kind upbringing under the circumstances

Care the child as their own – like a father-figure to be concise

Give child the right dose of value system right away required

Including all support system which is woefully needed

For upbringing the offspring in the best possible way wanted

For which paternal and maternal love are of paramount value though

For overall growth and development of the child

Thus taking care of physical and mental health

So that the child adjusts well in the society in which the child is living

Thus steering clear from the difficult situations which may arise without any warning

Fatherly pat quenches the inquisitive thirst of their children

And the children come to know about the world around them

Father’s guidance brings our journey back on the right track

And save children not to go astray

And save them from sure off-track movements

Father’s soft touch is as good as the hard one

Since these touches are for ensuring the children’s wellness. .

I had all the attention from my mother and father alike

Those years were really very impressionable

When both of them were there with us

My father, a World War 1st Veteran

Who donned his uniform for the land of his birth

In his lifetime had seen ups and downs

During his active service tenure in armed forces

He gave credence to the idea of ‘duty first’

With utmost dedication and devotion which were the hallmark

The traits of which were transferred to us in plenty

My father too faced many a tragedies

Three of his brothers had accidental deaths

But faced every difficulty with resilience and courage

Determined that such tragedies should not put us in fear

He taught us that fear should not make us weak but faced with courage and determination

He practiced Ayurveda to cure his rural patients as a social service

So that cure could be bestowed to the ones who needed it the most

He actively participated in many a social causes

In whatever manner it was possible for him

With the limited resources he had that time

He nurtured us with the best diet he could afford

Inculcated positive outlook on life

As to how to face challenges which visit without much warning

Infused positive outlook on life in us

Even at the discouraging irritants

Which may visit us without any prior inklings

He taught us how to face up to any situation

Which he himself followed assiduously till his last day

While on his death bed at the ripe of age of Ninety SEVEN

When I was studying only in class SEVEN

Whilst anticipated that his end was so near

He called us near him with a smile

Gave four gems of advices which we still follow most conscientiously

Never interfere in others’ affairs unreasonably

Never be afraid of life’s challenges which may visit you suddenly

Never be reactive to anything that may happen with much warning

And finally always follow the dictum

The winner is the one who follows the Absolute Truth.

Subsequently, he breathed his last

With two tears flowing from his eyes

And God’s names on his tongue

Which I vividly remember even now

That is the TRIBUTE TO MY DEAR FATHER

AND may be to every father.

 

HARBANS KHAJURIA

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THE HUMILITY – AN UNASSUMING NATURE OF AN INDIVIDUAL  

THE HUMILITY – AN UNASSUMING NATURE OF AN INDIVIDUAL

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A man with humility touches the sky with glory

But has his moorings on the ground, very strongly.

A humble one is a reservoir of all positive traits

But never showcases the same in public domains.

Virtuous in thoughts and actions beyond doubt

Filled with humility and fair-play along with modest touch.

Makes a concerted effort so that a situation does not go awry in any way

Unknots any knotty problem with ease and without any hype.

With his tact of change at any given situation

Works within the confines of his own limitations.

Also knows where his limits end and others’ privacy begins.

A humble one is well-mannered to the core

A person who behaves with civility with others.

Without any shred of doubt, he tries to adjust with others with ease

Gets assimilated with anybody under the sun and makes difference in any case.

Enchanting is his inner silence, surely a spiritualist one

With the most kindhearted attitude towards one and all.

He is considerate of others’ perspectives

Always acts in pragmatic ways.

A humble through and through but not at all sadistic  

For he is always realistic.

Deeply rooted in down-to-earth traits

A believer in giving others anything and everything he is graced

Without any expectations for others to get in reciprocity.

A man who is understanding for others at any space and time

Even losing himself for obliging others in any scheme of things which may come

When everyone around is losing their heads

He keeps his own intact.

Even wagers, sometimes, his own self-esteem

For keeping a situation going overboard

With his righteous thoughts and actions for a good cause.

Many a time, sacrifices his own self-worth

For up-keeping others self-respect.

When things are going helter-skelter

A humble endeavor to keep everything together.

Sometimes humbles are humiliated in front of others

He takes this humbling in his stride and keeps his head clear.

Inner strength is his forte indeed

Which is well fortified with his noble deeds.

Being genuinely amenable makes the person loveable by all

So as to bring a situation back to win-win again by his Meda’s touch.

He never ever hates the wrongdoer

But may try to refine his negative tendencies

Without adopting those off-putting attributes.

A visionary with an appropriate mission

Who is self-aware with self-belief in abundance

Believes more in work well done.

Wish that this tribe may multiply 

So that more smiles are divided amongst all those who need these urgently.

 

In essence, a humble one is the one who, despite being erudite to the certain degree, and filled with extraordinary wisdom never showcases it to the general masses; for self-praise or to earn appreciation or kudos. This individual’s thoughts and actions thereof are for the general good of his society in which he is living. Such persons are virtuous to the core and will not wager these humble traits for some pecuniary gains or any approbation/stamp of approval from anybody, perhaps, of course, from God.

Fundamentally, when we have all the good traits, fitting nature, adjusting outlook, well-informed about good things in life, have self-belief, appropriate belief system, self-realized/self-awareness despite all the qualities of head and heart then we can safely say that we are all the qualities of being humble. This sort of a person is down-to-earth, who will go all out in pleasing others and does not stand on ceremony at all.

Essentially, In our life, we come across people with the different bent of mind/thought percepts, good and not so good.  Then there are some positive traits like virtuous, righteous,  polished/suave, polite to the core, persuasive, supportive, rationalistic, realists, and negative ones like; fussy, choosy, aggressive or sadistic,  opposing, narcissist,  et al. But one thing is sure, we can keep up our head only when we are following positive traits thereby maintain a balanced life.

In Bhagwad Gita it has been clearly enunciated that the mind is obedient to the senses, it carries away the wisdom of the persons like the wind carries away a boat on the water. We should, therefore, rein in our mind and senses so as to live a Sattavic live.

We are inclined to appease our senses by resorting to sensory activities. We tend to mollify our senses by indulging in pleasant sensory activities which are impermanent in nature. We can find peace only if we do anything or everything with detachment, non-craving by adopting the following positive traits:-

HUMBLENESS COMES FROM WITHIN

It is important that we analyze ourselves in the light of the traits; both good and bad we are having then try to minimize the negative aspects and turn them to positives. It should always be kept in mind that physical appeal and magnetism in our character count when we have the clear vision about ourselves and those with whom we deal. This to be the reality, it is paramount that we cleanse ourselves from within ourselves. It has been seen that most physically attractive individual may present a repelling sign when we happen to deal with that fellow closely.

HUMBLE PERSON IS SINCERE

A humble person never flaunts his material possessions or his acquired knowledge. He makes use of his knowledge not only for himself but also for his society of which he is a part. He is genuinely amenable with others. He strives to be understanding and wins friends.

WE ARE JUDGED BY THE WAY WE CONDUCT OURSELVES

 We are judged by the way we conduct ourselves. Our appearance should be good. Fussy clothes come in the way of our first appearance. After this, our personal behavior is a barometer of our personality. When we have appealing inner virtues then every other consideration becomes secondary. More credence to our inner self should be given. A humble man puts on neat and clean dress besides being simple, he possesses magnetic pull in his personality.

FALSE EGO

 Humble people do not have a false ego. Such people would prefer losing their own reputation rather than exhibiting themselves at every given opportunity.

WORKING IN COOPERATION IS THEIR FINE-TUNED TRAIT

It should always be borne in mind that nobody would like to be with jealous and self-centered individuals. But everyone would like to have the company with the suave, gentle and amenable person. The humbling people are amiable and could make friends with anybody with this attitude thus work for the overall benefit of the organization in which they word.

 PERFECTLY BALANCED PERSONALITY                                                                                      

 A person who gets along with anybody and everybody. He remains unruffled both in pain and pleasure. This uniqueness is his trait along with selflessness, good temperament, understanding, and virtuosity make this fellow rather a cult figure to be followed.

  HUMBLENESS WITH SELF-CONFIDENCE

 A person with humility is humble – even while brimming in self-confidence, he does not showcase this trait to others. This self-confidence makes this person fearless in taking the risk and meet any emergencies.

UNALLOYED DEVOTION TO GOD

 A humble person is spiritual to the core. He performs his job with utmost sincerity, earns his living using honest means and always keeps good company. His prayers emanate from the core of his heart.

WORKING WITH DETACHMENT IS HIS FORTE

He works with a pure feeling and nothing can distract him from this goal attainment since he knows how to perform his duties without attachment to the fruits of his action. The failure or success never unreasonably district such person.

THE CRITICISM AND HUMBLENESS

While being humble, we have to face some adverse criticism. In an effort to be humble sometimes we have to be prepared for getting some brickbats along with appreciations. A person rooted in assuming trait takes appreciation and depreciation with the same bent of mind and keep his/her head clear.  A humble person takes criticism with a pinch of salt and tries to improve his/her attitude and tries to improve in whatsoever way the situation demands.

EQUANIMITY IN PLEASURE AND PAIN IS HIS STRONG POINT

 A humble person maintains equanimity in births, deaths, old-age and diseases. This person does not get swayed by the fruits of his action and remains to worship God ‘with steadfastness and devotion without much attachment as mentioned in Bhagwad Gita.     

HUMBLE ALWAYS GIVES MORE CREDENCE TO SATTVA (GOODNESS)

 In Bhagwad Gita it has been clearly mentioned that a person who lives in the mode of goodness (Sattva) binds one to happiness. It holds the human through the union of happiness and knowledge. This sort of a person attains the pure world of great men of wisdom.    

 

HEARTIEST FELICITATIONS ON THE AUSPICIOUS DAY OF EID-UL-FITR (THE FEAST OF FAST BREAKING TODAY.

 

HEARTIEST FELICITATIONS ON THE AUSPICIOUS DAY OF EID-UL-FITR (THE FEAST OF FAST BREAKING ON 15TH JUNE 2018).

            EID MUBARAKH TO ALL

Eid-ul-fitr – after the month long observance of fast,

Based entirely on article of faith,

Having purified body, soul and mind with fasting,

For the complete holy month of Ramzan / Ramadhan,

Being close to our benevolent One,

It is the anniversary on which Holy Quran

Was revealed by most revered Prophet Mohammed

Chaste in fasting without forgetting our duties,

Towards all,

Dear to us – leaving none,

Or the ones who are forlorn,

Meet their needs with utmost compassion,

Brimming with belief while performing donation,

And our heart feeling pain at others’ pain,

Thus bridging the gap that exists,

Between people of different hues,

Awash with fervor thoroughly,

Also overflowing with of empathy,

Thus generating hope for the hopeless,

Thence engendering basket-ful of goodwill,

Of fond trust,

That there will dawn as a result,

A day which binds all humanity with a holy thread,

Of oneness, and brotherhood,

Sustained and in fact enhanced.


The fasting is not eating food for a fixed or for a per-determined period of time with a view to giving our digestive system some break or rest consequently keeping the body free of extra fats and toxins so as to focus on the job at hand without bodily interruptions besides offering prayers to our Lord with ease and peace.

In other words, fasting is intentional skipping of intake of food material, drinks or sometimes both for a fixed or sometimes for a prolonged period of time. It may be for a complete day (24 hours) from early morning to evening (dawn to dusk) or early morning on a particular day to the morning of next day. Then the fasting could be continuously or intermittent; depending on the body requirement or for the intended purpose of observance of fast as a religious tradition being followed in some religions.

While in intermittent fasting, we remain without food, for a fixed time-span and then eat at a set time but in continuous fasting we remain without food for a long period of time – say from morning to the following morning of the day or still more for more days at a stretch.

Fasting is both for regulating and energizing the body metabolism by pepping up / streamlining the digestive system so as to keep the body free of the extra fats and toxins besides keeping the body’s carbohydrates (sugar) synchronized with the need of our body. With slower and regulated metabolism, means our body organs can work for a longer period of time thus prolonging our age.

Then fasting too is undertaken as a religious observance.

Hindu fast on religious and sacred days or on the religious festivals like: Navratris, Puranmashi (Puranmashi is the full moon day in traditional Indian calendar), Ekadshi (Ekadashi is the eleventh day of both the dark and light fortnight of each month), Maha Shivratri (auspicious time for Maha Shivaratri puja activities like Fasting and prayers are performed), Ramnavmi (Fasting observed on the birthday of the Lord Ram) , Krishna Janamashthmi (fasting on the birthday of Lord Krishna) besides many other festivals connected with Demi Gods and fasts relevant to local populace of a particular locality.

The Christians skip their desire for food and instead devote time in seeking God. Meaning, the time spent on preparation of food etc could meaningfully be utilized for prayers and meditation on the Word. This fasting time could be per-determined and hunger for food could be compensated with hunger for the Lord. Jesus fasted from all food and drink. The Bible also describes some extreme times when people fasted.

The Muslims observe fasts in the month of Ramadan or Ramzan. It is a sacred month since Holy Quran was revealed in this month. The word Ramadan has been driven from the Arabic word ramaida meaning intense heat accompanied with dryness of ground. It is called so since it amounts to driving out sins with our good deeds like offering charity and keeping away or desisting from all body enjoyments etc along with intense penance by following the practice of fasting.

The word “fasting” (sawm) literally means ‘to refrain’ – means desisting from not only from food and drinks but also from unethical thoughts and actions which sully our thoughts and actions besides following all the guidance in letter and spirit enunciated in the Holy Quran. In other words, it is not merely restraint from food and drink but also our resolve as to how to control the urge of hunger and thirst besides devote ones energies on prayers thus gain spiritually. This way, the devout learn the traits of self discipline through self restraints too. The fast is broken at sunset before recitation from Holy Quran and thus being in connectivity with Allaha. The fast is broken with a sip of water and some dates.

Fasting is done as an exercise of keeping oneself away from certain activities which prevent devout from being spiritually aesthetical both physically and emotionally. Thus desisting from taking anything and keep oneself away from worldly pleasures i.e. humdrum of eating drinking or even being away from thinking about anything like lust etc and divert all the energies to prayers – five times. Having abstinence means devoting much of time and resources on charities besides prayers infuses self discipline and ushers in all round development in the individual.

Everybody may be aware about IFTAR party – a social event where fast is broken. Here meal is shared with friends and others. Free meals are also served for the general public too at this get-together.

Ramadan is more than fasting. The entire month is devoted to prayers, internal cleansing, charity etc.

  • The devout devote all his/her energies to focus on God.
  • No compromise on the practice self restraint – physical or mental.
  • Re-evaluate lives in the light of Islamic guidance.
  • Forget and forgive those who wronged.
  • Purify our lives physically and emotionally besides our thoughts and actions. A devotee thus adopts the qualities of head and heart.

Fasting helps self awareness / self enlightenment.

  • Saves a devout from distractions and create the traits associated with sincerity and simplicity.
  • Restraint helps us discipline ourselves besides a person turns inward with regular prayers.

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EID-UL-FITR (THE FEAST OF FAST BREAKING).

God may bestow wisdom and resilience, in ample measure, for bringing dawn of peace, cooperation, goodwill, compassion and brotherhood among peoples of world. As we all are the creations of a single CREATOR, we should cement our love with each other and help each other meet our needs and never have ill-will for our fellow brethren.

After regular observance of fasst with devotion and piety for a period of one month during Ramadhan, devotees celebrate – Eid Day means a day of joy, a day of spreading love and affection, a day to spread fellow feeling besides a feeling of being pure after the observance of fast for one month.

Let this EID and coming EIDS be the torchbearer of our prosperity with Allaha’s Grace. Lets pray that the fervor and enthusiasm of EID remain etched in our hearts for ever and let this festival lasts for eternity with all its benefits.

TOGETHER WE SUCCEED – COOPERATION MAKES DIFFERENCE

TOGETHER WE SUCCEED

 cooperation

Together we can work in unison

Together we can avoid confrontation

Together we can contribute for overall good

Together we can succeed in getting things done

Together we can make good company

Together we can interact for a good cause so easily

Together we can come out of difficult situation

Together we can lay brick by brick to erect an edifice of our life without much confusion

Together we can meet our objectives fittingly

Together we can pursue our course of action with more objectivity

Together we can achieve optimally

Together we can solve our problem looming large without much difficulty

Together we can complement each others’ efforts with ease and in peace

Together we can attain excellence to the project on hand and fulfill our object

Together we can unify diverse groups

Together we can nullify our divergences

Together we can succeed by helping each other

Together we can proceed to sort out our differences

Together we can fix a meeting ground with mutual consent

Together we can start a community service for wellness of our society

Together we can ensure task fructification with utmost surety

Together our capabilities and resources combine to fructify our efforts

Together we can replace the spirit of competition with the spirit of cooperation

Together our relationship could work in harmony with the spirit of cooperation

Together we can share the know-how with other in the  spirit of cooperation

Together is with the spirit of full cooperation thus burning the desires for our growth 

Together we can protect the rights of others when need be

Together we can fight hunger and disease

Together we can succeed in any venture because we tackle a common cause

Together with our prayers could be heard by God easily

Together we may be blessed by Him for our efforts made so sincerely.

 

INITIATION OF COOPERATION BEGINS FROM OUR HOME (FAMILY)

From the beginning of the existence of civilization, humans have learned about the benefit of togetherness. At that time, it was for protection from the wild animals and unpredictable elements of nature. Then with the advent of fire, the man protected himself from wild animals by creating fear of fire in the animals. Subsequently, he domesticated the animals and also came to know as to how to subsist with the elements of nature too. The survival of the fittest was the Mantra at that time. But thereafter, with further discoveries and inventions man evolved, new institutions like families and communities came into existence. Thus a need was felt for mutual cooperation in the spirit of interdependence and cooperation.

A Song of Ascents. Of David. Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!

This cooperation starts from family as a unit where all the members get their respective cooperation in order that the purpose of family succeeds which is procreation, learning the right mores of behavior, value system, cultural mores, members cooperate with each other for subsistence and also importantly to transform the family traditions to younger generations. All the members of the family interact with each other for the spread of culture, maintaining social order, upkeep of human values in order to maintain the spirit of cohesion and cooperation. All these traits integrate all members for a common cause or purpose. All these are learned in the family itself.

How best we can keep going in the family as a unit is known to everybody. It is on the basis of give and take. In the family some earn, some perform domestic jobs and others, being in old age. have to be looked after. It is on the basis of cooperation and adjustment with each other. From the evolution of humans, man has been cooperating with each other because no family, no society or community could survive and flourish without the cooperation of each other.

IN FAMILY LIFE ANY MEMBER COULD MAKE DIFFERENCE

In our neighborhood, I happened to meet a couple, who has a son of about three years old. The couple informed me that there used to be arguments between them previously but lately it is not happening. When asked about the reason. The answer baffled me altogether. They gleefully informed me that the reason for not having hot talk or arguments is due to their son. Whenever there is a hot talk, their son just intervenes and cries loudly till until they stopped. Now, there are almost no arguments between them and there are harmony and understanding between the couple.

COOPERATION AMONGST THE MEMBERS OF THE SOCIETY

After family life, there comes the community or social life, which is the conglomeration of families with different religions, castes, people speaking different languages but they just integrate for a common a cause. They maintain cooperation in order to get things done. The neighborhood is one such important constituent of a community. It is well said, we can change our blood relation but we cannot ever change our neighbors. They stand by us in thick and thin. Whenever something untoward happens, it is our neighbors only who would provide us assistance and then our relations could be reached.

Society is the voluntary association or company or organized group of individuals working for a common interest, beliefs and serving their common cause. These social groups get organized and build bridges between different groups by way of interaction with each other. An individual’s performance is recognized and respected in the society in which he/she lives.

In the society, one gets cooperation from others for a common purpose. Then society chooses their representatives who formulate laws which work for the protection of the citizenry from those who do not obey the laws of the land and are inimical also ensures the protection of borders from the foreign intrusions.  

SPIRIT OF COOPERATION REMOVES CONFUSION AND CONFRONTATION

When we work in a spirit of cooperation, we do not have cut-throat competition among the members of the society. This also removes or burns the desires and we perform our Karmic deeds with the total detachment which is in sync with the Bhagwad Gita ‘action without attaching with the fruits of our action’.

 

ON THE BEST MOMENTS IN OUR LIFE

THE BEST MOMENTS  IN OUR LIFE

HAPPY.jpg

When we are satisfied with what we have

Or maybe not fortunate to have

With the sweat of our brows

Those moments are not enlivening our spirits

Whence our pockets are bulging at the seams

With the earnings by corrupt practices

Because smear corrupt practices is worst.

Even though our pockets are not full

We have got the means to spend only for a day

Yet we’re having the strength in our muscles

And requisite intellect to use these for a honorable living

With self-belief which we naturally possess when we’re respectably living

Those moments are worth owning

Because those moments are pleasure giving.

Then we have the best moments.

When we are having good health and wellness

Wherein what we eat is taken in with ease

Giving synergy to perform what we want attaining

Without even an iota of impairment to our being

That is the best moment for us for a contented living.

When we have finished our responsibility

Towards our homes which is our sacred duty

Bring up children properly

Provide them suitable schooling

Along with value system and right dose of courtesy

Getting sound career and adjustment in life subsequently

That is the pleasant moment for us for a purposeful living.

When we transact anything and everything

Within the ambit of the laws of land

Without attaching any stigma

Of negativity which are bad in disposition

That is the moment we all should aspire for a sound living.

When we do not have any fears

Of anything and anybody

Including the death which anyhow would visit us one day

 Existence  bereft of fear is the best of all the living.

When people solve their own problems themselves

Or with cooperation and support of others

And make this world a place worth living

That is the best moment of living.

When there is a free-flow of feeling of love and compassion

Between all the peoples around

When there is no bias on the  basis of narrow considerations

When we share others’ pleasures and pains

When humans give more credence to humanity

When there is prevalence of piety and morality 

That is the best moment we all cherish really.

The best moments are there

When our sincere efforts are recognized

Then the ultimate best moments are there

When we establish our connectivity with our Source

By following positive oriented lifestyle with no greed, jealousy and rancor

For anyone under the sun.

  • Having satiety bring about the best moments for us. When we are satisfied with what we have or do not have with our own sincere efforts. When we are satisfied with what you have or do not have then those moments would be the best ones for us.

  • Having sound health. When we are having good health then we would be able to exert ourselves physically and mentally thus succeed in getting the best moments in our life with the sweat of our brows.

 

  • When we choose for us the best life partner who stands us in thick and thin. This is the best moment for us since we have to spend the best part of our life with that partner who is our confidante and a life-partner. 

  • Performance of our family responsibility. Having performed our responsibilities or duties towards our family helps us to attain utmost satisfaction i.e. when our children have settled or we are making sincere efforts in their upbringing have fructified into concrete results, have adjusted in the career and are having happy married lives then into concrete results those moments are the best ones for us.

  • When you have unblemished service record. Having performed our service without any black-spot or having perfect service record too gives us utmost satisfaction and when at the time of retirement speech it is mentioned, how happy one becomes. It is, to say the least the happiest moment for us.

  • Conferring of awards for a job well done. When our performance is recognized in the organization we are working and get award for the same, then that moment is the best for us.

 

  • When we do not have any fears in life. When we do not fear from anybody or anything under the sun but continue performing our multifarious functions assigned to us with our sincerest efforts those moments are the best moments for us.

  • When we feel pain for others. The moments when we feel pain when others are feeling so, those moments are the best moments for us.

  • When we associate God in our day to day work. The moments in which we associate God with our work, those moments are the best for us since we work under the guidance of divine consciousness or Higher Power and we work with clear consciousness with tangible results.

Ultimately, on our deathbed, we have only the name of our God – taking that ultimate moment to be the BEST OF ALL THE MOMENTS.

ON HAPPY PARENTS

HAPPY PARENTS

 IM1

Happy parents themselves are disciplined lots

And present an example for their kids to follow

For the offspring pickup parents’ attitude

Which they see in their daily routines

Home is the place where current of free-flow of information follows

With no inhibition whatsoever

Including seamless discussions

On varieties of subjects without compunction

On family customs and traditions

Including transference of cultural mores

Being followed by the family from ages together

Where mother holds the golden key

To fine-tune the child’s upbringing

Her benchmark for progress for each child is without bias

Happy parents are the ones whose children

After their home stint

Get  on with their schooling most methodically and successfully

After following all the norms as a necessity

Where parents are called to the children’s school only for receiving awards

Won by their wards

For their all-round performance above par.

 

Happy parents are the ones

Whose children come with solutions

To the problems they confront

And not become part of the problem themselves

Thus making the problem more confused and beyond solution.

 

Just think of the plight of the parents

Who is called to their wards’ school

For attending a session with the teacher

For their wards wayward behavior  and dismal academics records

How depressing such parents feel indeed!

Where both parents and their wards get reprimands

From their teachers for their lowly overall performance.

 

Happy parents are also the ones

Whose children make them proud

Due to their professional acumen and competence  

Who would be known for their children’s exemplary achievements

In all fields which count.  

ON HAPPY PARENTS

Importantly, for a parent to be happy, it is essential that their offspring imbibe all the positive traits that are necessary for living a positively oriented and purposeful life. It is not that in this sort of life, there would not be any hindrances/road-blocks, these would be there, but how best these could be surmounted by the participation of children and the parents with mutual cooperation and understanding.

While traveling in a train, I happened to meet a middle-aged person. Seemingly from a middle-class background but with outstanding mannerism which I observed while interacting with him.  I easily struck a conversation with him after customary greetings.  

He told me that he has two sons. Both of them were brought up in middle-class home conditions whose only source of income was the yield from their farmland in a small village. Both of them had their early schooling in a Government run school. Though in financial stringency, both of them finished their schooling; the elder one could barely scrape through his matriculation examination. He was constrained to follow his parent’s profession of farming and was fated to lead a normal life.

On the other hand, the younger one was disciplined, intelligent, hardworking and was liked by his teachers and adjusted with the environment he was placed. By dint of resolute determination and consistent hard work, he scored a position in matriculation and then graduated with flying colours. He also supplemented the family’s income by taking tuition classes in the evening hours. His parents were very proud of their younger son. This fellow also confided that he was never called to the school due to the discipline attributed towards his younger son. On the other hand, they were most respectfully invited to the award-winning ceremony of his son’s academic excellence. Any parents would be proud to have a offspring like him, he said. While telling this, there was a shine writ large on his face. He further said that his son has,  this year, qualified his UPSC for IAS. What a performance, I applauded! Any parents would feel utmost pride in having a child like this one. 

From the time a child is born, the parents try their utmost so that their offspring imbibe all the value systems which may help them in their later part of life. It is in the family itself from where a child gets the first lesson in etiquette, good manners, family traditions, discipline, self-respect and the respect for the elders in the family? A child who, from the childhood itself, remains within limits in every way; may it be financial, norms of behavior, obeys natural laws and laws of land with aplomb succeeds in life.

Having learned our first lesson in various aspects, as listed above, our lessons in informal education to get initiation from our home. Actually, from our loving care of our mother including a loving pad of our father. Subsequently, our formal schooling starts. The parents want that their wards ought to be good in studies, bring in good results besides following all the norms of behavior and positive traits which they have taught their wards. Then after some professional courses, interviews for the career the young aspirants aspire for. The parents too help their wards so that they get the best whatever they aspire for and have strong inclination to achieve.

After having achieved what their children have got according to their potentials as well as their circumstantial influences, the parents want their children the following too:-

  1. Good career with growth potential. The parents want that their offspring get the good career which has good opportunity to grow in the career graph. This is only possible when the persons concerned works hard in formal education then learn and follow every lesson in the book in professional efficacy – both theory and practice.

 

  1. Adjustment in Married life. Then the parents would like that their grown-up children select a good girl of compatible and amicable nature who could adjust with the family and adopts all the norms of behaviour. Here the parents too have responsibility and a role to play. They should treat the girl married to their son just like their own daughter. This way, love in reciprocity will flow in the family just naturally.

 

  1. Successful Married Life. Subsequently, every parent would like their children married life to be smooth sailings. There should not be any hindrance in their lives. If sometimes, there arises any difference in their perception, the parents should give sound advice and settle the issues, so cropped from time to time, without any wastage of time lest it becomes nuisance thereafter.

 

Conclusively, the parents would be ‘extremely happy’ if their children are:-

  1. If their children are brought up in a disciplined manner so that they lead a disciplined life.

 

  1. Follow norms of behavior in schools, colleges, universities or in professional institutions going youngsters. The parents their offspring to get their education by observing all the rules and regulations and get requisite knowledge and other experience gleaned during their studentship. How happy the parents will get when their wards come out successful after their formal schooling and bring laurels for them.

 

  1. More than anything else, it is the discipline which is essential. I have seen how much parents feel perturbed when their children are found to be involved in breaking the discipline, moral and ethical turpitudes due to which they are called to the schools or colleges. The students involved in shoot out incidents is one of the glaring examples. How much low the parents of such children get after coming to know about their offspring’s  involvement in such cases? Only the concerned parents can say about this, nobody else really?

 

  1. Get meaningful employment according to their merit.

 

  1. Get settled in life after getting married with a suitable girl.

 

  1. Parents will be happy if there is a compatibility in the family of their offspring.

 

  1. Parents would be extremely happy if their offspring are compassionate, kind, emphatic towards others besides looking after the elders in the family when there is a need.

 

  1. What a feeling the parents will get if their children grow up following the spiritualistic way of life.

 

The parents whose children are not only the elders in the family but also the older members of the society in large in whatever way they can are the HAPPIEST IN MY VIEW.

Following the behavioural pattern of an offspring will keep haunting us:-

  1. When they are uncaring towards others’ needs.
  2. When they exhibit negative traits towards others.
  3. When they show their arrogant behavior.
  4. When they do not pay respect to their elders or older members of society.
  5. When they have the exaggerated sense of importance.
  6. When they come with problems and not with the solution to the problems confronted.
  7. When they are not satisfied with what they have but continue to pester their parents for more without trying their bit for realizing what they want.
  8. When they pass on the buck and do not take responsibility for anything.
  9. When they are under the influence of bad characters.
  10. When the offspring behave selfishly.

 

 

FACTORS RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR DEMOTIVATION

ON OUR DEMOTIVATION

 

When we cave in under the weight of our own contradictions

And tend to act in a way which leads to de-motivation

When we are not ready to face the challenges

Whilst the unpredictable time throws

A time-tested googly at us

When we least expect it all

Thereby we fail to  take the challenge thrown onto us

Because we are not having total confidence in our potentials

To hit the ball head-on with confidence so suffusing

For a full-fledged sixer, so to say

But are bowled over clearly

Because we have not sweat perfectly

On the ground to gain sound traction on the bat and ball

Proving unprepared attempts lead to results so unpredictable.

 

Some demotivating factors are of our own creation

Like lack of self-created inertia

Of not moving ahead when given the opportunities

Instead of moving ahead we tend to do an about turn

Thus resorting to unplanned procrastination

Owing to our own off-putting attitude indeed

Due to the negative mindset of our own.

 

Thence this demotivation is created

By the environments in which we’re constrained to reside

With the people who are habitual offenders

Steeped in poverty of ideas due to their misdemeanors

Of gambling, committing a variety of sins

Which come in the way of our progress

And meet challenges which are thrown at us.

 

ON DEMOTIVATION

The word demotivation or non-motivation means becoming a dampener or decelerate or putting brakes in the progress of an individual or group of people. The factors for demotivation may be manmade, financial, physical psychological, environmental etc. But these impediments remain haunting us and prevent or put brakes in our further movement to acquire success. The antonym of the word motivation is demotivation and has negative overtones.

I got a proof how demotivating factors can come in the way of progress of an individual or a family. These factors could be financial stringency, repulsive tendencies of an individual, negative mindset due to inertia in the personal drive, lack of stimulus and initiative besides being placed in uncongenial environments. These non-motivational factors could be partly man-made and partly due to circumstances in which a person is placed.

AN EXAMPLE HOW ONE TURNS HIS DEMOTIVATION INTO MOTIVATION

Recently I had a chance of meeting an individual named Shyam. This person proved that if we have the personal drive, resolve, solid determination and impetus to grow, we can succeed. He is a sole earning member who has to support five members of his family – consisting of his spouse, three sons (aged 23, 21 and 18 years old elder one knowing driving, second and third undergoing training as Electrician in an Industrial Training Institute).  He used to be financial stringent; worked as a tailor in a tailoring shop whose manager was cruel in his behavior towards his employees, framed his own set of rules to be broken at his own whims and fancies and to top it all, never believed his employees. Besides he was living in an environment which is not congenial for the growth and development of the family as a unit.  But Sham had no option but to live there and co-exist with all the people and environment since he could not afford to take a house in a good locality with the very high rate of rent charges.

He had to work from morning till late in the evening stitching clothes for his clients. Here too, he was facing heat since he was constrained to spend part of his earnings on medical expenses of his wife’s ill-health. With only himself as the bread earner for the entire family and with too much financial stringency as the demotivating factors to move on, one day he decided to take loan from the bank for starting a business so that at least one of his sons could be adjusted in his life and help supplement his earning which could be ploughed back in upbringing of the family besides meeting the expenditure on training of his other two sons. He succeeded in getting the bank loan and one son is earning now by driving his own taxi. There was a glimmer of hope and satisfaction writ large in this face when hee told that his sons are very obedient and do not have any bad habits.

In essence, I was really impressed by his passion to work despite impediments. He wanted to convert the demotivating factors into motivating factors. According to him, his line of thought worked well. Now all his sons are working and earning for themselves and he is now having his own tailoring shop where he pursues his profession as a manager of the shop with three tailors to assist him. He treats his employees well because he knows how he was treated earlier on and also how he had risen due to sincere efforts and with the grace of God despite demotivating factors working against him.

When I persisted about the query as to how he could turn de-motivation into motivation, he with all humility told me that it was partly due to self-belief and also due to the unflagging belief on GOD which made a huge difference and changed the negative situation into the positive one.

From the above, we can figure out the demotivating factors responsible for impeding our forward movement:-

FINANCIAL STRINGENCY

I have seen that there are students who are very good in studies but are not able to pursue their educational pursuits due to the unsound financial condition of their families. Many of the students fail to realize their aspirations because of this factor – they cannot afford costly books and other expenditure involved in their studies. I too faced financial pinch during my college days. 

PASSION TO MOVE AHEAD DESPITE HURDLES

A person with traits of drive and passion to work will move ahead despite inertias on his/her way for further movement ahead. No non-motivating or demotivation factor can dampen his spirits to move ahead. He/she sweats despite hurdles on the path.

ENVIRONMENT IN WHICH WE ARE PLACED COUNTS MUCH

It is not merely the home ambiance which is responsible for our forward growth but also the environment in which we are living and brought up. An uncongenial environment where people resort to gambling, take drugs, drink in public glare besides following unhealthy lifestyle would surely have a negative impact on the impressionable minds. This really is a demotivating factor for many of the students, especially when they are in their early teenage years and adolescence period when their mind is most impressionable.

APATHY FACED AT THE WORKPLACE AND UNSATISFACTORY WORKING ENVIRONMENT

A workplace wherein the management is not considerate, make and break their own rules suiting their wishes, where career graph just remains stuck, where there is no incentive for the initiative, drive and hard work, an employee, in such work environment will get demotivated.

AN ENVIRONMENT WITH NO CAREER PROGRESSION

An organization where there is no incentive for working hard and where the management gets influenced by tall-talk and backbiting, an individual with drive and passion to work will be demotivated and cannot continue in such incompatible atmospheric and would like to leave this organization for a better workplace wherein his/her efficiency is recognized.

PROCRASTINATION IS A DEMOTIVATING FACTOR

When we are in the never-ending habit of putting off things, we give a blank cheque of lethargy and laziness to ourselves which will bounce back on us every time we tend to encash it. The disease of procrastination is too bad and proves to be a demotivating factor for our further movement.

WHEN CHALLENGES CHALLENGE YOU, YOU JUST CAVE IN

Sometimes we fail to accept challenges and we cave in under the weight of our own contradictions due to demotivating factors such as lack of confidence on our capabilities, lack of willpower and any other factor which the situation provides at the time and space.

LACK OF SELF-ESTEEM AND SELF-CONFIDENCE

It is essential that first of all, we have to be self-aware; know our potentials and weaknesses then bridge the gap that exists in the weak areas. We can enhance and maintain our self-esteem by removing the grey areas or impediments such as not taking initiative, becoming impulsive procrastinator, indecisiveness etc which prove a stumbling block in our progress.

Having self-confidence does not mean you go on flaunting your achievements or laurels. Anyhow, everybody knows about us and our capabilities or otherwise but those who know their limits remain within that LAKSHAMAN REKHA lest we become intrusive and barge into somebody else territory and get reprimanded in the process. This may prove demotivating.

NOBODY CAN DEMOTIVATE US TILL SUCH TIME WE LET THEM TO DO SO

Experience is a guide that we are responsible for letting others to demotivate us since we too tend to be intrusive in some form or other in their affairs. If we are not, then, how come we can tolerate others’ interference in our sphere of activities. The change for not interfering in others’ affairs should start from us only then nobody will interfere in ours and demotivate us.

Be that as it may, it should always be remembered that what we are is partly due to our efforts and partly due to God’s grace. In these scheme of things, if somebody barges in and tries to demotivate us then we should bear the following into our mind:-

  • Listen to those who try demotivating you but only ‘listen’ just do not take their pep-talk or rants to the inner recesses of your mind. Nature also helps us in this by gifting us two ears – hear from one (inlet) and out (outlet) from other – so to say.
  • Bear in mind, everything starts with you and ends with you only. If you work hard in order to fulfill your dreams, nothing can come in your way but one OMNISCIENT AND OMNIPOTENT power would always be with you. Have belief nobody can be the hindrance in your dreams. SELF BELIEF MAKES DIFFERENCE. In fact the positive mindset brings about positive results with the grace of our GOD.